Bring Me to Life
by ZzzShiroNeko
Summary: A songfic to Evanescence's "Bring Me to Life". Post-Hogwarts.... Harry Potter's thoughts on being the Boy-who-Lived and the Boy Forgotten


"Bring Me Back To Life" By ZzzShiroNeko  
A songfic to "Bring me to Life" by Evanescence  
  
_ How can you see into my eyes like open doors?  
Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb without a soul  
_  
"Who is Harry Potter? Harry who? Who's a potter?" Those are the most common phrases I hear whenever I randomly ask someone in the streets of Muggle London about their knowledge of Harry Potter. They don't know who Harry Potter is or how important he had been to fight for the safety of the world, both the Muggle world and the Wizarding world. Funny, I think. It's sad that they were oblivious to his greatness. Maybe they'd give him a better look, or smile at him, or maybe treat him as a celebrity for doing what he did. Nonetheless, to Muggles, he's nothing but another face in the crowd.  
  
_ My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold  
_  
If they only knew how great he was. Harry was a legend in the Wizarding world. Was. He's nothing more than that now. But before, he was a celebrity. Harry was the toddler who survived Voldemort's attack when both his parents and everyone else that got in the way were killed. He was a mere baby, with no powers at all, who destroyed the epitome of power then leaving Him weaker than a newborn babe. When Voldemort returned as a half- spirit, Harry was the one who prevented Him from getting the Sorcerer's Stone. Harry was the boy who survived again after Voldemort was revived. And Harry was the boy who finally killed Him. That's not all. The fact is all these events happened before his eighteenth birthday.  
  
_ Until you find it there and lead it back home._  
  
But If they only knew how great he was. Harry was a legend. Was. He's nothing more than that now. But before, he was a celebrity. Harry was the toddler who survived Voldemort's attack when his parents and everyone else that got in the way were killed. A mere baby with no powers at all, destroyed the epitome of omnipotence  
  
the one who prevented him from getting the Sorcerer's Stone and from reviving his own spirit, the boy who survived again after he was revived and the boy who finally defeated him. All these happening before his eighteenth birthday.one minute, Harry Potter was a walking hero (or a ridiculed one, I might say) but the next, he's a total nobody. He saved humanity from the most evil sorcerer in the world and what did he get out of it? A couple of thank you'se, pats in the back, endless jokes from the members of the Harry-Haters Club and about a thousand death threats from old Voldemort supporters who weren't imprisoned in Azkaban.  
  
_ Wake me up inside  
Wake me up inside_  
  
You could ask any child in the Wizarding world about the story of Harry Potter. In an instant, that child would breathlessly be babbling about how great Harry was and how he defeated the evil Lord Voldemort. The child would not utter His name of course, and rather call him "He-Who-Must-Not-Be- Named." The child will tell you of Harry's eye color, hair color, his hairstyle, even his shoe size. But not one child, or even adult, can fully describe Harry. They know of his adventures, not of the real Harry.  
  
_ Call my name and save me from the dark  
_  
Only a few people knew who Harry Potter was. Ron Weasley befriended Harry, no questions asked. Ron just with him on the train and an immediate friendship started. Hermione, who just happened to be in the wrong place in the wrong time, was saved by the two boys when she encountered the troll in the girl's bathroom and later followed them along anyway. They were the only ones who knew of his past with the Dursleys and the only ones that were on his side as he faced the evils of growing up and Voldemort. They are the only people who know Harry like a book from cover to cover. They were the ones that understood him. They were.  
  
_Bid my blood to run before I come undone  
Save me from the nothing I've become_  
  
If anyone would decide to write a biography about Harry Potter (like there aren't enough books about him!), those two people I mentioned earlier would be the best secondary sources a writer can get. They would know what would cause Harry to roll on the floor laughing and what would completely tick him off. They knew of every broken bone, his every freckle, every wound and every scar, apart from the lightning one that he had which faded after he defeated Lord Voldemort. They can describe his every manner, from the way he hold his quill to how much butter he puts on his toast every morning. They would know his likes and dislikes, his favorites and his least favorites. Of course, Ron would toss a few exaggerations and Hermione would be there to correct Ron's embellished stories. Yup, they know Harry alright.  
  
Bid my blood to run before I come undone Save me from the nothing I've become  
  
_Now that I know what I'm without  
You can't just leave me_  
  
Did you know I've been talking about me all the time? Yeah, I am Harry Potter. Flesh and blood. Fucking hell, you didn't know I was still alive? You thought I had died with Him? Shit. I didn't know. I didn't know I was a nobody. Okay, maybe I was sarcastic. I know I am already a nobody. I've been one ever since I killed Voldemort.  
  
_ Breathe into me and make me real  
_  
I know you're wondering why I said the name Harry Potter as if he were a different person, as if I wasn't him. It is half-true though. I am a different person now. I still use the name, but Harry Potter was a legend. I am a nobody. I am no one without that stupid scar on my forehead. That's the only distinguishing mark that set me apart from the rest of the four- eyed, black tousled haired and green eyed wizards, that stupid fucking scar.  
  
_ Bring me to life  
_  
You know, it's funny how people used phrases to describe people they feared or for example, me, Harry Potter. They called me "The Boy who Lived" or the "The Boy Who Defeated He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named" or Potty. The person who called me that last word should go straight to hell. Oh, my mistake, he's already there since I sent him there. On the other hand, when my name is mentioned, one expression was different from another. Some smiled, as if invisible weights were lifted from their pitiful shoulders. Some scrunched their noses as if they had just taken a whiff of something fetid and disgusting. Some just give a light shrug and go about their business.  
  
_ Wake me up inside  
Wake me up inside_  
  
I could imagine someone saying, "Harry Potter died with Lord. Vvv. He-who- must-not-be-named, right? Harry Potter, the poor boy. He'll be missed dearly." Whoever said that Harry will be "missed dearly" should die a really slow and very painful death. He's not missed dearly. He's not missed at all. I am not missed at all!!! Whenever I visit the Wizarding world, they treat me like any other person. I could say I am Harry Potter and people would think I am just posing as him. Anyone can pose as him nowadays. Even a girl can pose as him! I'd say I'd blame the countless Harry Potter biography authors. I wish I could curse them all. Too bad I had used my wand as fuel for my furnace a few winters ago.  
  
_ Call my name and save me from the dark  
_  
I know people in the Wizarding world are still scared shitless by that lunatic, Voldemort. I scoff at the idea of people stuttering and trembling whenever they hear his name. Some people wouldn't even dare say it. Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort. How hard is it to say his name? He's a person, a mortal. He wanted to kill me and I knew it. But I wasn't scared of his name. I don't tremble at his name. That's just plain stupid. "Fear of the name only increases the fear of the thing itself," Professor Dumbledore told me once, may his soul rest in peace. He and I were not scared of his name.  
  
_ Bid my blood to run before I come undone  
Save me from the nothing I've become_  
  
People knew why Voldemort was evil. They knew because he was angry at his Muggle father and that started His rise into evil. People knew of the Death Eaters and His dealings with other creatures of darkness. But no one knew why I acted the way I act. No one knew, or cared, about my life with the Dursleys, The biography books never really wrote about my pre-Hogwarts days. No one would read the books on my Muggle way of life. People are only interested on the Voldemort part. Any story always needed something to do with Him. Otherwise, people consider it trash.  
  
_ Frozen inside without your touch, without your love  
Darling only you are the life among the dead_  
  
Only two people know me well enough that they don't need to read books to know what my favorite color was. As I said before, those people are Ron and Hermione. Well, maybe Hermione would read the books just for the sake of checking mistakes and sending the corrections to the author. Ron and Hermione know me more than I know myself. But where are they now? They are elsewhere, together, away from me. They've forgotten about me, just like how people have forgotten about me.  
  
All this time I can't believe I couldn't see Kept in the dark, but you were there in front of me I don't think I did anything wrong for them to find a reason to abandon me. Why can't it be the three of us, the best of friends? Why couldn't it have stayed that way? I don't think I hindered their romance. I was never the third wheel. I stayed away whenever I had a feeling that they wanted to be alone. I helped Ron whenever he couldn't think of anything to buy for Hermione during their anniversaries. I was a shoulder to cry on for Hermione whenever they had a serious fight in the past. I didn't mind them together.  
  
_ Kept in the dark, but you were there in front of me  
_  
Before they were a couple, I loved Hermione and she knew about my feelings for her. She loved me too, she told me. But she also told me that she loved Ron more. I let her go, no hard feelings. She had the right to love whoever she wanted. I had to let her go. Else, she'll hate me forever. I thought I did the right thing. If that didn't hurt already, she had to cut deeper into the wound. They both did. They had to leave. They had to leave me. All alone. They deserted me.  
  
_ I've been sleeping a thousand years, it seems  
_  
A year after our graduation, they eloped and never came back. There whereabouts are unknown until know, for me at least. They haven't written any letters or called me on my phones. I haven't changed my address or my phone numbers. For almost ten years, they haven't thought of me once. Ten numbers are all they had to dial. They just had to pick up a piece of parchment, a quill and an ink bottle and squiggle the word "Hi." That would've been fine.  
  
Got to open my eyes through everything  
  
I don't know why they had to elope in the first place. I mean, their parents weren't against them dating each other. They loved seeing the two together. Did they think that they are not free to love each other if I was around? Is it because they just had to run away from me? Why??  
  
_ Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul  
_  
Maybe it's just a curse. Maybe I was meant to be alone in this world. I don't know. Maybe there is something I have that I am not aware of that just repels people away? Maybe I am just naïve whenever people show me affection and I don't respond? Ginny liked me when she was younger. I found her crush on me rather ridiculous. I liked Cho but I was too scared to ask her out. By the time I gathered up the courage, she was already with Cedric. When I finally asked her out after his death, she told me she liked me but her feelings towards me changed when I mentioned Hermione. I got over all of that. I liked other girls after them and pursued them too. But here I am, alone.  
  
_ Don't let me die here, there must be something more.  
Bring me to life._  
  
I want them to come back. I want Ginny to have a crush on me, or Cho to date me, or Hermione to love me more than she loves Ron. Actually, I don't need them to even like me that way. I just need them for support. I know they need me too. Everyone needed me once. Why not anymore? Am I but a toy once loved and cherish, only to be thrown away when all my fun and luster had faded away? Am I nothing but a pawn that helped in protecting the king in a chess game, only to be sacrificed at the end?  
  
_ Wake me up inside  
_  
Sometimes I wish I had dated Ginny when she was still madly in love with me. I wish I asked Hermione to the Yule Ball. I wish I didn't tell Cho about Hermione during our date. I wish her friend, Marietta, hadn't betrayed Dumbledore's Army. At least I would've been still friends with Cho. I wish Sirius had survived. I wish I gathered up the courage to ask Hermione out before she ended up in Ron's arms. I wish. so many wishes that will never come true. Why is it that when I had to face Voldemort I am brave, but otherwise, I am a coward?  
  
_ Wake me up inside  
_  
My life became a nightmare, a nightmare I could not wake up from. Life just changed right before my very eyes. I was once a hero, now only known as a legend. I blinked too slowly, closed my eyes for too long and things happened right under my nose. I missed the opportunity and it will never knock on my door ever again.  
  
_ Call my name and save me from the dark  
_  
It's been about ten years after I defeated Voldemort and now, I hit my head up against the wall just wishing everyday for something to happen. I wished that he had a descendant or an avid admirer who would follow in his divinely evil footsteps and try to take over the world. I wish even that Lucius or Draco Malfoy would rise up from the dead and start the Death Eaters again. It is funny when I was younger that I wished Voldemort and His Death Eaters never existed. Now, it's rather odd that I wish for them to be back.  
  
_ Bid my blood to run before I come undone_  
  
My life had summed up to wishing for the one who I wanted gone to come back to life in order that I would have a life. It's rather pathetic, Fame got into my head. I hated being the center of attention when I was younger. I didn't know why. I don't know why I hated it then and crave using my wand against them again. I remember Lockhart saying, "Fame is a fickle friend," but I never thought he'd ever make sense.  
  
_ Save me from the nothing I've become  
_  
But them nothing in my life makes sense anymore. Why am I still alive? What is my purpose now? I had purpose before: to defeat Voldemort. Now that he's gone, what am I to do? It was as if I had died with him. I took his body and his soul. He took my soul, but the vessel it traveled in still has a beating, but broken heart. It is still breathing, but labored. The vessel is merely alive, in need of someone that will return its soul from the valley of the shadow of death. Someone, save me from the nothing I've become. Someone, please, bring me to life. 


End file.
